New carrier!

I'm very excited about my special new carrier (please excuse the not so great photo of me!)  This is my custom made Olives and Applesauce carrier.  It was made using a Girasol snow rainbow diamond weave woven wrap.  With Gideon getting bigger and still wanting to be carried often, a toddler sized carrier was well overdue.  The Ergo just wasn't comfortable enough for us anymore.  As soon as I put it on I knew it was perfect.  Gideon snuggled right in and fell asleep instantly - always a sign of a good carrier ;)  It was rather a long wait to get this carrier made and cost a fair bit of money but I'm so glad I did.  And it's very appropriate that it's made with a rainbow wrap seeing Gideon is my 'rainbow' baby. 

Gideon is two!

Wow, my little boy is TWO!  How did that happen?  He's still so much of a 'baby' to us mainly, I think, because he is so much littler than the other two at the same age.  He is so very loved, still spending his nights sleeping with us (for the most part right on top us still like he did as a newborn!!) and still loving being worn in the sling.  He still loves his milk - I don't think there's any chance of him weaning anytime soon!  He likes to assert his authority around the house.  Particularly with the big kids!  If they're doing something they're not supposed to or something he doesn't want them to he'll scream 'noooo' and push them away.  Legacy of the third child I think ;) He's talking a lot these days and telling us lots of things.  I love hearing his little voice or have him chase us for 'hugs' - his favourite thing at the moment!  Two is such a magical age and I'm enjoying every (mostly!) moment of seeing Gideon grow up. 

Here's a few photos from his birthday...

Opening presents

Wow, a marble tree.  What do I do with that?

An impromptu 'Hungry Catepillar' cake ;)

Blowing out the candles. 

Happy Birthday beautiful boy! 

The beginning of independence

Up until now, Gideon has been our little baby.  He's been content to be close to us and just go with the flow.  Just recently though we're beginning to see him start to move away from us and become his own little 'self'.  This generally comes in the forms of big tantrums where he will just throw himself around and not want to be picked up.  Try to offer a solution to the problem and the tantrum will get even worse.  This beginning of indpendence has also meant that he is no longer content to carried all the time and he will often fight to get out of the sling if he's in there. In many ways it's all a bit frustrating.  Especially when you have places to go and people to see.  And so often I feel like I am being judged for having a 'naughty' child!

Despite the feelings of frustration though, I am enjoying watching my baby gain his independence.  I choose to see these tantrums as a positive thing, that he is comfortable and secure enough in our love to feel free to assert himself.  Gideon has been held and carried close since he was born.  He slept on our chest for the first 12 months of his life (and even now he continues to sleep mostly on top of us at night!) I'm sure there were many people out there who thought he'd be attached to us forever (that old familiar 'rod for your own back' thing).  We knew he wouldn't and that it would be only for a very short time in the whole scheme of things that he would be 'attached' to us.  And so it seems that we were right.  I smile every time I see Gideon throw a tantrum or he insists that he walks instead of being carried.  And just enjoy those times when he does need us.  I know that he will know that he's always loved. 

First Haircuts!

We have started off the year with first haircuts for both Gideon and Esme.  They were well overdue for haircuts with Gideon's hair constantly falling in his hairs and Esme's hair getting hard to manage with the amount of knots it was getting.  Both of them were really good for the cuts - Gideon almost fell asleep he was so relaxed! 

Before: I love this photo of Gideon - it's like he's saying 'help, get this hair out of my eyes!'

After: no longer looking like my 'little' boy.

Before: Esme's hair was really long!!

After: much easier to manage!

The wire comes out.

Looking at this finger you'd never guess that anything had happened to it!  But this is the same finger that, six weeks ago, got stuck in a bike chain and ended up with a deep cut and fracture that needed to be fixed surgically.  I have neglected to update on here what happened though. Almost two weeks after the initial surgery Gideon managed to get his cast off.  When we went the outpatient appointment two days later it was discovered that the bone had actually moved back to the wrong spot.  So Gideon couldn't straighten his finger. 

There was much debate by the surgeons about whether anything could be done.  The problem was that it was now two weeks past the inital surgery and the bones might have already fused together.  Then there was the problem that even if they hadn't that it might be impossible to find the piece of bone that had come off especially given the size of an 18 month old's finger!  We were told it was going to be like 'looking for a needle in a haystack'.  Eventually they decided that it was worth the risk of more surgery in order that his finger might have full mobility.  So we were booked in for surgery the very next day!

It's weird going in for surgery with an 18 month old for the second time.  It's eird knowing what it was going to be like!  We had a long wait to get into surgery and poor Gideon was a bit over it again especially given that he couldn't have a breastfeed to fall asleep. But we got in there in the end.  And the anesthetist was a lot more understanding this time.  I was allowed to hold Gideon in the sling while they put the gas mask on to get him to sleep.  He fought it just as much as last time but at least I was able to hold him close.

This time he was put in a cast up to his armpit.  No getting out of that one.  Or so we thought!  Just over a week after the surgery Gideon managed to break his cast and work it off his arm.  We were told by the plastic surgeons to take him straight to the ED if that happened so that's exactly what we did.  It was only a short wait at the ED as they fast tracked us which I was grateful for.  But the second time (yep, we ended up there two days later when Gideon did it again!) was a 4 + hour wait.  It was really busy and there was a violent patient which was not pleasant at all.  Luckily my little chilled out boy slept for the entire time we were there, only waking up when we redid the plaster.  

The enormous plaster cast!

Two weeks later we had our outpatient appointment again.  All looking good with his finger (awesome!)  The enormous plaster came off and we then had to try and keep a hand splint on his hand for the next two weeks!  He still had the wire sticking out the end of the finger so we had to be really careful that it was bandaged up enough so he couldn't get to the wire.  I think we ended up putting about 3 layers of bandage on just so it took him a loooong time to get to the finger!!

Gideon's finger just before we got the wire taken out.

Fast forward to Christmas Eve and we had our appointment to (finally!) get the wire out.  The wire came out easily and painlessly (I was worried it was going to be traumatic) and the surgeons are very happy with how his finger is.  Gideon is still a little reluctant to use the finger but gradually better.  We have another appointment in 4 weeks but that should be it.  I'm very much looking forward to putting this all behind us now!  No more accidents or illnesses allowed in this family for at least 12 months ;) 

Poor Gideon

Our poor little boy has been in the wars lately.  Last Thursday he decided to put his finger in a bike chain and unfortunately a certain little girl started riding the bike.  It wasn't intentional, she had no idea his finger was in the chain (and I still don't think she realises what she did which I guess is a good thing) but there was some serious damage done to Gideon's finger.  I was inside at the time but when I heard his screams I knew that something was wrong from the way he was crying.  I rushed straight out and saw a very deep cut most of the way around his finger.  I panicked a bit (ok, a lot!) and rushed around trying to get things to stop the bleeding. 

I ended up taking him straight to the GP.  The first doctor there thought that it would need stitches but we checked with a second doctor who suggested the nurse at the clinic cleaned it up and then we'd take another look.  It was decided that the cut would be ok with steri-strips so it was bandaged up and splinted (just in case).  The GP wanted me to get xrays done to make sure there wasn't a fracture.  I never got around to organising an xray that afternoon as I had to pick Jacob up from school and had no one to mind the kids while I took Gideon for an xray.  I wasn't too worried though, he seemed happy enough once the finger was bandaged up so I assumed nothing was wrong. 

I decided to go in late to work on Friday and get the xray done on Gideon's finger just to make sure all was ok.  I really wasn't expecting to be told after the xray that he did indeed have a fracture there. The radiologist had spoken to the GP who had advised us to go to the Emergency Department so we were taken down there.

The doctor on duty had a look at his finger and it was then that I was told that he would most likely need to have surgery to fix the finger.  Today.  Not only that but it couldn't be done at the hospital were we were, we had to travel to a bigger hospital where they had a plastic surgeon who could work with such little fingers - eeek! 

Gideon after his operation, cannula still in and plaster on his right hand and arm

 So off we went to Box Hill Hospital for surgery - a bed had already been booked for Gideon on the paediatric ward.  As soon as we walked into the ward we were told that he would be having surgery in 10 minutes.  A bit of a shock to the system.  He was prepped and taken down to the operating suite.  By that stage he was overtired and getting really upset as he hadn't had a proper sleep that day.  Usually I would feed him to sleep but of course I couldn't breastfeed because he was about to have an anesthetic. 

It was very hard seeing him have the gas to be knocked out.  He was wrapped in a blanket and had to have the gas mask held over his mouth as he struggled.  All I could do was touch his face, tell him it was ok and cry.  It seemed to take forever before he was knocked.  Then I was taken outside to wait.

The doctor was out in literally 25 minutes and spoke to me briefly before he left.  All had gone well.  They had put Gideon's finger back in the right spot and he would have to have a cast on for 3 weeks.  It was still a little while longer before I could see him though but I was there as he woke up from the anesthetic.  He was very groggy and fell asleep again in my arms straight away. 

It took him a while to wake up properly but about half an hour after we were back in the ward he was awake and alert and eating again (he was pretty hungry considering he'd missed lunch!)  We thought at first we'd have to stay for 4 hours but we were allowed to go a couple of hours after the surgery. 

Now comes the challenge of keeping the cast on and relatively clean for the next three weeks!!  And hopefully we don't have any more injuries for a while now- surgery with a child that age is not something I want to go through ever again! 

Week 43 of Craft Project a week: Hat for my (little) boy

A few weeks ago I made a hat for Jacob.  This week it was Gideon's turn!  I chose to make his hat with cars material on one side and denim on the other side.  The denim made it much sturdier and was easier to work with than the corduroy.  Don't you just love the photo of him above - his two 'teeth' are celery just in case you were wondering! 
  

The cars side of the hat

The denim side of the hat

 

The next challenge will be actually getting him to keep it on.  This is a photo of what actually happened when we were getting him to try the hat on...

Week 25 of Craft project a week: Tops for Gideon

 

This week's project was a couple of new tops for Gideon.  The first was a little owl top to go with the pants I made him for his birthday.   The top was a custom hand dyed top from Makeya and I simply made an owl applique to go on it.  I love how it's all turned out!  

Little owl applique

The second top I've been meaning to do for ages - ever since I made these pants for the boys!  The applique is a little bit crooked but otherwise it turned out ok. 

Dump truck 

One

It's hard to believe that a year can by so quickly.  Today Gideon turns ONE!  In fact, at the same time as I'm writing this post now, Gideon would have been only two hours old.  We would have still been lying in the bed at home where he was born, having skin to skin time and attempting baby-led attachment (he took a little longer to breastfeed successfully but that's a whole other story ;))

I'm actually feeling a little teary and sentimental writing this post as the lead up to actually getting pregnant and my pregnancy and birth with Gideon was such an emotional journey.  I feel incredibly blessed every single day for having Gideon in my life. He has brought us hope again and helped heal my heart. 

I can honestly say that I have cherished every day of Gideon's life so far.  I think that losing a baby really helps you realise just how precious these little ones are and even though it has been difficult I am thankful to the two babies I lost for teaching me this lesson.  It has taken me until now to realise why they were sent to me. 

Right from the start Gideon has always been close to us.  We wore him in the sling during the day and at night he slept with us on our chest.  Now a year on, he is still sleeping in the sling during the day (although the sleeps these days are few and far between!!)  He still likes to sleep on our chest at night although he's getting a tad big these days and usually ends up with his head on my chest and the rest of his body on the bed! And yep, I can probably still count on two hands the amount of times Gideon has slept by himself!  If you'd told me a year before Gideon was born that I'd have a baby that wouldn't sleep on it's own and was still sleeping on my chest at 12 months old I probably wouldn't have believed you.  Now it's just normal (and even my back has mostly adjusted to my weird sleeping positions!) 

The past month or so I have really seen some big changes in Gideon.  No longer my little baby, he is turning into a real little boy with attitude.  He loves lots of noise and getting in on the action with the other two kids.  If there's a stacks on, he'll come quickly crawling up and climb on top of everyone!  He has such a happy, laid-back personality.  No matter how tired or upset he is, you can usually coax a smile out of him by doing something silly or by giving him a tickle.  He has a very cheeky streak as well.  Catch him doing something he shouldn't or 'tell him off' and he'll smile and laugh at you.

He's a speedy crawler these days and has just started taking one or two steps by himself.  That proud look on his face when we cheer him on after taking a step is just priceless.  While I'm looking forward to him starting to walk there's a little piece of me that's just a little sad. They really don't stay 'babies' for long!

Happy Birthday, little boy, and thanks for choosing me to be your Mummy. 

Gideon's owl birthday cake - made by Chris

Blowing out the candles on his cake with Daddy

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Cuddles with Daddy - and very excited that everyone is singing to him!

Birthday cupcake on his actual birthday 

 Mmmm, yummy! 

Week 24 of Craft project a week: An owl inspired week

It's Gideon's birthday this coming week so we celebrated his birthday today with family and friends.  The theme for his birthday party was owls (yep, I'm one of those parents that love planning their kids' parties and giving them a theme ;))  So, in honour of the occasion I whipped up some little owl pants for him.  I've had this material for ages and used it to make some suck pads for a friend of mine but it also looks great on pants too.  My mother-in-law made a beautiful vest for Gideon too which has an owl pattern knitted into the cable at the front (really must get some photos of it!) 

As well as the pants I made a few things to go with the party bags that we gave out (all owl-themed too of course!)  I made some finger puppets for the boys - an owl and the pussy cat set and a five little owls set.  They were pretty easy to make.  If I had more time I probably would have hand stitched them but I had to resort to the hot glue gun this time to get them done quicker (and even then I was doing them at 2am on the night before the party!!) 

'The Owl and the Pussy Cat' set of finger puppets

'Five Little Owls' set of finger puppets

I found these cute little crocheted owls, hearts and flowers on ebay (I really wish I could say I crocheted these myself but I'm the first to admit that I do not 'do' crochet or knitting - I don't have the patience!!)  So I sewed them on to some t-shirts for the girls.  Simple really! 

Cute little crocheted owls and other bits and pieces!

The t-shirt I made for Esme

 I've got a few more owl inspired ideas too that I will share in the next couple of weeks too! 

Week 23 of Craft project a week: Another farm bag!

This week's project was another farm story bag.  For Gideon this time (I have a tendency to make stuff for other people's children before I eventually get round to making them for my own!!)  After lots of practice they're getting quite quick to make - this one only took a weekend to do.  Gideon loved his present and thinks it's really funny when we make the noises to accompany the animals. 

Checking out his present.

Criticism of a Dad

Baby-wearing Dad - how can there possibly be anything wrong with this image?!

I've been meaning to blog about this since it happened just over a week ago. Last Sunday my husband, Chris, took our 8 month old to the Farmer's Market with him. He usually goes to the Farmer's Market every week to get our weekly fruit and veg. Normally he would take the two bigger kids and leave Gideon with me but this week he took just Gideon (to give me a chance to get some sewing done - he's great like that ;)) He wore Gideon in the Ergo on his back which is a common occurrence around here.

When he arrived home he was really upset. I asked him what was wrong and he told me that people had made negative comments about him wearing Gideon in the sling. Apparently he was told by a number of people that Gideon was 'too low in the sling' and that he was 'all twisted'. He tried to explain to people that Gideon was fine but he continued to get comments. Normally Chris is pretty good about letting negative comments slide but the comments made him doubt himself and he actually went and checked Gideon's position in the mirror in the toilets. All fine. Of course. Chris knows how to wear a baby safely.

It really irritates me that people focus on the negatives. Perhaps people could have been more thoughtful when they made a comment to Chris - how about saying how great it is to see a Dad wearing their baby before they dive in with their critique of how he is actually wearing the baby? At least then it would have been a bit easier to take, and Chris could have explained to them that he is an experienced baby-wearer who knows how to position a baby in the sling correctly.

Chris made the comment that if he'd had the two bigger kids with him then people wouldn't have made these comments. He felt the comments were made because he looked like a new Dad out with his baby for the first time and, of course, that means that he needs 'help'. And indeed he proved that, as he went back to the Market the following week with the big kids and Gideon in the sling on his back again and he didn't get a single negative comment.

You may remember this article recently where a Dad was called into question by the police when baby-wearing his daughter. It's sad that it's becoming a trend to criticise our Dads for playing an active role in parenting our children. In all my years of baby-wearing I have never had a comment about my baby's positioning in the sling. So why do we think it is ok to do it to Dads? The traditional role of the Father is rapidly evolving as society moves forward and we need to embrace that. C'mon people, let's give Dads a break! I challenge you to say something positive to the next Dad you see baby-wearing their child in public!

Week 11 of Craft project a week: Upcycled pants

I'm working on a big project at the moment which is going to take me a couple of weeks to finish. But I still wanted to make something to put on the blog this week. I decided to undertake a project that I've been planning to do for awhile but hadn't got around to. So this week's project has been some upcycled pants for Gideon!

The jumper before it's transformation

I bought a jumper from the op shop for a couple of dollars last year. I didn't try it on at the time when I got it as Gideon was in the sling asleep and I didn't want to disturb him. Turns out it was a little too small. So instead of getting rid of it I decided to make it into a pair of pants for Gideon. It was a bit of an experiment but I think it has turned out ok (apart from some very untidy sewing because I wanted to do it quickly!) All I did was cut the sleeves off the jumper, add an extra panel in the middle (I discovered after sewing the sleeves together that an extra panel would be needed for Gideon's big cloth butt) and sew it all together. Then I added a waistband and put some elastic through.

And the finished product!

Voila! Some new, and very cheap, pants for Gideon. Using the sleeves has meant the bottoms have a very neat and tidy cuff on them!

Gideon's big cloth butt in the pants

On the move!

A couple of weeks ago my little boy started crawling. I'd forgotten just how much fun life is when you have a crawling baby! Gideon is loving being able to get to places that he's wanted to for so long. His favourite things to do, now that he is crawling, is to eat crumbs off the floor (and everything else that happens to be on the floor!), chew on the power cords, chew on the vacumn cleaner and touch the hot oven!! The big kids are also discovering how much fun a crawling baby can be and are learning to do things out of his reach (building train tracks and making towers around Gideon is usually met with disaster!)

Gideon has also started pulling himself up on things. I took this photo the other day. Not long after I'd taken it Gideon let go and tried to stand by himself! I'm guessing it's not going to be too much longer before he's walking. Now, can someone please tell my little boy to slow down a bit?!

Week 6 of Craft project a week: Pants for the boys

It's been quite a busy week here with Jacob's first week of school and me being back at work one day a week (I neve realised how much I actually do in a day at home!) so not a lot of crafting happening this week. I did manage to get some pants made for my boys though. Jacob has been asking me to make him some 'digger' pants for ages now so I finally got around to it this week. I also made a matching pair for Gideon which Jacob thought was great! Now to just get on with making a dump truck appliqued top which I have also promised Jacob!!

Jacob was pretty happy with his new pants!

Back view of Jacob's new pants

Leaving my baby

This time next week I will be leaving my baby for the first time. I have so many emotions about it all right now. Fear. Sadness. Worry. Guilt. And perhaps just a teensy bit of excitement. Last year, I made the decision that I would return to work one day a week (I was doing one day a week while pregnant with Gideon). Now that it is upon me though I don't feel ready at all.

I didn't leave the other two to return to work until they were 12 months old and even then it wasn't always a weekly thing so I am feeling some intense mother guilt for returning when Gideon is only 7 months old. I know I will be leaving him in very good hands (Chris will have the kids the first two Fridays and from then on it will be my Mum) but I can't help worrying. Gideon has been our most 'attached' baby out of all three kids. He is used to milk 'on demand' and being held when he sleeps so I have no idea how he is going to go...

Added to that, I will need to express milk for him while I'm at work. I'm worried about how my work is going to react. Even though my work is made up of female employees I am still worried about how my need to express and organising a place to do it will go down. I'm very passionate about breastfeeding, probably more so than any other employees at my work who has returned with a young baby. As an ABA counsellor, I know I should be proud to be advocating breastfeeding but all I feel is downright scared about it! I haven't even discussed this need with my principal yet - must put that on the to-do list!

There are many reasons why we're decided that I will return to work when Gideon is 7 months old. Part of that is financial. By going back to work one day a week we will be able to send our kids through Steiner Education (at least for Primary) which is important to us.. Also, it means that I will be eligible for paid maternity leave when/if we have another child. If I had to put my children into care then I would not be returning to work. But knowing they will be with their Nanna and cared for just as I would care for them makes me happy to go back to work.

There's also a part of me that is actually excited about going back to work. I'm a special education teacher and I work at a school for students with physical and multiple disabilities. I find my work very rewarding (although challenging) and I love it a lot - especially when I am only there one day a week!

I know I shouldn't be, but I'm a little worried that people will judge me for going back to work when my baby is so young. While it's probably pretty normal in the wider community for Mums to go back to work when their baby is young, not many people in my circle of friends have done so. And it is true that if money wasn't an issue then I would not be going back to work. I would be staying home with my kids. But I feel that working just that one day a week will actually make a much better Mum. It will teach me to appreciate my kids just that little bit more. And, of course, my kids will get to spend some quality time with their Nanna as well - how special is that?

Now just to get over my own anxiety about leaving Gideon...and start expressing so I have some milk to leave for him!!

Elimination Communication: when refusal hits!

We'd been doing so well with Elimination Communication but just lately we've hit a 'potty refusal' stage. I seem to remember this vaguely with Esme although we weren't practicing EC as diligently as we are with Gidoen. This 'refusal' seems to coincide with developmental changes. Gideon is starting to get up on his hands and knees and move around the floor a bit so really doesn't like being 'confined' on a potty. Also, he's much more interested in things around him so is often wanting to reach things when he is sitting on the potty which results in him pushing himself up and off the potty!

So...what to do about it? There's not a lot we can do about it at present apart from just wait it out (and I know things will change - as they always do with a little baby!) Luckily Gideon is still happy to do poo in the potty (I really don't think he likes doing it in his nappy anymore - he will deliberately hold on these days until he is on the potty to do it) but we are having a bit of trouble catching wee at the moment. When we try to put him on the potty for a wee he will often cry and push himself off. We still have times that we are guaranteed to catch a wee (such as when he first wakes up or first has his nappy off) but in between those times, it's a bit hit and miss (literally!) We are quite fortunate in that we have floorboards so don't have to worry too much about carpets getting dirty although do occasionally get misses on our rugs (a terry towel to soak up the wee immediately works wonders by the way).

We do have a few 'tricks' that we can use to keep Gideon happy on the potty if he's refusing to go though. One of those is putting a basket filled with lots of different toys in front of him so he can rummage through it, giving him a favourite toy to chew on, or a piece of fruit that he likes (yeah, probably not the most hygienic but you gotta go what you gotta do!) Also, bigger kids sitting with him and talking to him can also help (although sometimes this is more of a hindrance than a help - especially when they yell and stick their faces in his!)

So, that's where we're up to with our EC journey at the moment. I will update again in a couple of months time and let you know whether the 'refusal' stage has passed - fingers crossed it has!

Brothers

It's so beautiful watching the relationship develop between Jacob and Gideon. Jacob is the most doting big brother. He will happily sit and play with Gideon for ages or share his 'special' toys with him. If he's crying he'll go to him and comfort him. Gideon absolutely adores Jacob too. He watches Jacob intently when he's around and any attention from him is met with huge smiles! It's so special to see. And I think seeing this makes us realise why we wanted our children to have siblings - so they can share that 'special' relationship. Chris managed to capture this video of Jacob and Gideon after their baths the other day - I think you can plainly see the mutual admiration!

More adventures in baby-led solids...

I remember the excitement we felt when Jacob started solids for the first time. I had so much much fun pureeing food and feeding it to him with a spoon. It didn't matter that he may not have been ready for solids - he was 6 months old and he was going to have food! By the time Esme came around we had discovered baby-led solids. We had a lot of fun watching her learn to eat by herself.

Now Gidoen is 6 months old and it's time for us to embark on the baby-led solids adventure with him too. I can't say I've been especially looking forward to this. It's taken me this long to realise that the time when a baby is feeding exclusively from the breast is a really special time. But I realise that Gideon is growing up and these changes are inevitable. Gideon has been giving us signs for quite a while that he is ready for food, he's been reaching, grabbing and trying to put food in his mouth for ages. In fact, a week or so before he was 6 months he grabbed a leaf of lettuce of my plate and started eating that!

Reaching for and grabbing food off Daddy - we can't stop him!

We haven't made a concerted effort to give Gideon food. Usually it's just whatever is taken off our plates or what we are eating at the time. He's tried a few different steamed vegies so far: potatoes, sweet potato, carrot, broccoli and a few different fruits: strawberries, banana, avocado and apple. So far the winner seem to be broccoli and apple. The apple is great because he will just gnaw on it and it seems to really help his sore gums. Broccoli is great because it's so easy for him to hold on to!

Me? Making a mess? Never!

I can't imagine doing solids any other way. Baby-led solids is an easy, hassle-free way to introduce solids and it means that the baby is free to go at their own pace instead of being made to eat food before they are ready. As long as you don't mind a bit of mess that is - but that's all part of the fun!!



PS. Apologies for the video on the side - it was taken on Chris' phone!

To my little boy

6 months. That's how old you are today. These past months have gone so quickly yet it feels like you have been in our lives forever. We can't imagine life without you now. From the moment we found out we were pregnant with you we knew you were a blessing. After losing two babies, we finally realised what a precious miracle life is.

You have been in our arms constantly from the moment you were born. Simply because we didn't want to let you go. You sleep in our arms or the sling during the day and you sleep on my chest at night. I can count on one hand the amount of times you've slept by yourself. I love the comforting weight of you sleeping on my chest. Listening to those little snores as you sleep, feeling your chest move up and down, rubbing my face on your soft hair. People often ask me how I manage to sleep with you on me at night but it's really not a problem. I wouldn't have it any other way and I don't care how long you do this for because I know that you won't be little for long.

You are such a happy and content little baby. Whether this was meant to be your personality anyway, or whether it's because of how we parent you, I don't know. I'm inclined to believe it's a combination of both. Friends often comment on how they rarely hear you cry. Well, you do cry (trust me - you can't be a perfect angel all the time!) but you always calm down and smile when someone comes to talk to you or you are picked up. And even when you do cry it's not a loud cry, it's more of a 'someone come and pay me some attention' protest.

You are such a little socialite (you definitely don't take after me!) You love to watch people very intently. When they realise you are watching and turn to give you some attention you give them a big beaming smile. You adore your big brother and sister and always give them lots of smiles. But you are particularly fond of Jacob who will sit with you for ages and talk to you and play with you. Esme can be a bit rough with you sometimes although her silly antics often make you giggle, a real belly laugh which makes us all laugh too. You love to chat to us too and definitely make sure you're heard loud and clear in this busy house!

You are trying your hardest to crawl these days (probably because you just want to catch up to your big brother and sister!) You can get up on your hands and knees now but can't quite get the forward motion happening without falling on your face. You can get around quite well though by rolling and by scooting backwards.

I love the quiet times we share together. The times when your brother and sister are elsewhere and it's just us. Being silly with you and being rewarded by those beautiful smiles. Or watching your face as you sleep on my chest or snuggled up in the sling. I love that zonked out look - mouth half open, a tiny bit of dribble escaping from the corner of your mouth (usually being soaked up by me!) I love our quiet breastfeeds at night while the rest of the house sleeps, both of us drifting back to sleep as you feed.

Yes, I truly believe this is bliss.