Criticism of a Dad

Baby-wearing Dad - how can there possibly be anything wrong with this image?!

I've been meaning to blog about this since it happened just over a week ago. Last Sunday my husband, Chris, took our 8 month old to the Farmer's Market with him. He usually goes to the Farmer's Market every week to get our weekly fruit and veg. Normally he would take the two bigger kids and leave Gideon with me but this week he took just Gideon (to give me a chance to get some sewing done - he's great like that ;)) He wore Gideon in the Ergo on his back which is a common occurrence around here.

When he arrived home he was really upset. I asked him what was wrong and he told me that people had made negative comments about him wearing Gideon in the sling. Apparently he was told by a number of people that Gideon was 'too low in the sling' and that he was 'all twisted'. He tried to explain to people that Gideon was fine but he continued to get comments. Normally Chris is pretty good about letting negative comments slide but the comments made him doubt himself and he actually went and checked Gideon's position in the mirror in the toilets. All fine. Of course. Chris knows how to wear a baby safely.

It really irritates me that people focus on the negatives. Perhaps people could have been more thoughtful when they made a comment to Chris - how about saying how great it is to see a Dad wearing their baby before they dive in with their critique of how he is actually wearing the baby? At least then it would have been a bit easier to take, and Chris could have explained to them that he is an experienced baby-wearer who knows how to position a baby in the sling correctly.

Chris made the comment that if he'd had the two bigger kids with him then people wouldn't have made these comments. He felt the comments were made because he looked like a new Dad out with his baby for the first time and, of course, that means that he needs 'help'. And indeed he proved that, as he went back to the Market the following week with the big kids and Gideon in the sling on his back again and he didn't get a single negative comment.

You may remember this article recently where a Dad was called into question by the police when baby-wearing his daughter. It's sad that it's becoming a trend to criticise our Dads for playing an active role in parenting our children. In all my years of baby-wearing I have never had a comment about my baby's positioning in the sling. So why do we think it is ok to do it to Dads? The traditional role of the Father is rapidly evolving as society moves forward and we need to embrace that. C'mon people, let's give Dads a break! I challenge you to say something positive to the next Dad you see baby-wearing their child in public!

Week 10 of Craft project a week: Sewing for friends

Glasses case for my friend's son

After thinking I was going to have a rather unproductive sewing week, I managed to get quite a few things finished today! This week I've been making things for other people. I used this tutorial to make a glasses case for my friend's son (it's been made in slightly bigger proportions than the original tutorial in order to fit wood working glasses in).

Set of suck pads for my friend

I also made another set of suck pads for a friend - in the cute fabric that I made Esme's dress in a few weeks ago. I made a set of suck pads for my other sling too but they're made in boring black so I won't put a picture up (yes, I'm so anally retentive that I have to make myself a set of plain suck pads to match my sling ;))

I will have to get to birthday present making in the next couple of weeks as I have lots of little kids birthdays coming up and I like to give handmade presents.

Week 7 of Craft project a week: More suck pads for slings...

I feel like I have lost of bit of my sewing mojo at the moment - things are so busy and I'm usually too exhausted at the end of the day to do any sewing. I did manage to make some more suck pads this week though - these sets are to sell! It's kind of exciting that people want to actually buy things that I make - it always gives me a bit of a buzz to make things for other people.

I have worked out a design for Jacob's dump truck t-shirt today too and I'm hoping to have that all done early next week (poor Jacob has been waiting so long!!)

Week 3 of Craft project a week - Suck pads for slings

Gideon loves to suck on the sling at the moment which results in one very wet sling. I don't like to wash the Ergo too regularly so suck pads seemed like a really good idea. I'd seen them being sold before but decided they would be easy (and cheap!) enough for me to make myself. I experimented with making some a couple of months ago which turned out well. The suck pads I made this week are the end results of my experimentations.

These suck pads are made with a cotton layer, a layer of bamboo and backed with PUL (to stop the dribble soaking through). They have three snaps to hold them together (hooray for finally being able to use my snap machine for something - I purchased it ages ago when I was going to start sewing nappies - and never did!) Each suck pad measures approximately 15x23cms.

'Cat in the Hat' suck pads - shown folded up and as a whole

Dr Seuss suck pads - shown folded up and as a whole

Owl suck pads - shown folded up and as a whole

I ended up making 6 pairs of suck pads as I'd had some friends express interest in buying some. I'm hoping to actually sell these when/if I do get my own business up and running this year. If anyone is interested in buying some I'm selling them for $10 a pair. I can make in the same fabric as above or else I have some other cute fabrics that can be used as well.

Close to my heart

I'm a big fan of baby wearing. It all started when I was introduced to the Hug-a-Bub (a wrap sling for those of you that are not up with the lingo ;)) at the very first ABA meeting I went to. There were a couple of people there who were wearing their little ones in a Hug-a-Bub and when they started talking about how comfy and easy it was to use I was sold! The next week I went out and bought my own one.

The funny thing was that I had actually turned up to this particular meeting wearing Jacob in a baby-bjorn type sling. I was so proud of myself! It wasn't until after I started using the Hug-a-Bub that I realised just how uncomfy the baby bjorn style carriers are and how bad they are for baby and Mum. After only a little while I would get a sore back from carrying Jacob in this type of carrier. I also couldn't sit down properly (well done to those of you who CAN manage to sit with these on!!) and it was just so fiddly to put on - so many clips and buckles!

And so our journey with the slings began...I can't say I was an avid baby wearer when Jacob was little. I much preferred to put him down to sleep if we were at home. But when out it was awesome for settling him in (he was one of those babies that would cry and cry!) It gave me the confidence to manage his crying. We used the Hug-a-Bub until Jacob was about 6 months old (when he got too heavy!)

Once Jacob was older we decided to get an Ergo. The Ergo was invaluable. Especially as Jacob didn't start walking until he was almost 19 months (and he wasn't a fan of being in the pram!) We used the Ergo for quick trips to the shops, for long walks and to get him to sleep in while we were out.

Jacob, in the Ergo, on a walk to the Lake near us

When Esme came along we continued to baby wear. Being the second child, the sling got a bit more use than with Jacob. It was great when I needed two hands to help Jacob with things and Esme was (mostly!) happy to be carried. I started using the Ergo with her a lot sooner than I did with Jacob as she was a big baby! We continued to wear Esme until she demanded some independence!

Esme, in the Hug-a-Bub, when she was a couple of months old.

Now Gideon is here and we are continuing the trend with him. During my pregnancy with him I knew that I wanted to baby wear a lot more and I knew that I would need to so that I could attend to the other two kids and get things done. I'm proud to say that Gideon has rarely been out of arms in the 7 or so weeks he has been here! There just seems something so inherently right about holding him close.

The Hug-a-Bub was a bit of a life-saver in the first few days after Gideon was born when Chris and Esme ended up with gastro and I had to take charge! I just popped Gideon in and he slept soundly while I continued to do what needed to be done.

I've also recently discovered the ring sling which I love (that's what inspired this post!) I've had it for ages but was always a little scared to use it until the Hug-a-Bub had to have an emergency wash and I had nothing else to use.

Gideon, in the ring sling, at 7 weeks of age.

Holding my babies close to my heart just feels so natural. I couldn't imagine life any other way!

Do you like to baby wear?

I wrote this poem some time ago, as an entry for a competition. I meant to share it here a while ago but forgot all about it until today. So here is my baby wearing poem...inspired by Dr Seuss (just in case you can't tell!)

Do you like to baby wear?
We do! We do! We like it here.

I have done it on a bus,
It didn’t cause a lot of fuss.
No heavy prams to lift or fold,
On my back I like to hold.

Would you, could you, on a train?
What would you think about a plane?
I have done it in these places.
’cause for a pram there’s not much spaces!

I have done it at some rallies,
About homebirth mamas and pregnant bellies.
Cradled to my chest I need not worry,
About my daughter amongst the flurry.

What about on holiday,
It really is the only way.
Pram wheels won’t get stuck,
On all that sand and muck.

I have done it at the shops,
Waiting in line it is just tops!
In the sling, I can feed my baby,
And she’ll go to sleep, maybe!

Really, there’s no other way,
To baby wearing we say ok!

Just in case you're interested, I did score a pair of baby legs for my effort. Unfortunately not the main prize which was an Ergo but the person who won was a good friend of mine so I was somewhat mollified!

Never too young to teach them!

I truly believe children are never too young to learn about gentle parenting, and of course this includes baby-wearing. Children learn so much from the modelling of behaviour. I like to think my kids are learning gentle parenting just by seeing what we do and by being around families who share similar thoughts.

Esme was given a doll's sling for her first birthday by a friend of ours. She's never been too keen on wearing it, until now! This morning I asked Jacob if he wanted to have a go and of course this inevitably meant that Esme wanted to try it out too. Here's Jacob wearing the doll in the sling (excuse the funny face, making faces when the camera comes out seems to be the 'thing' these days):

And here's Esme wearing 'dolly' She was so excited to have her dolly close to her. It was really funny too, as soon as she had her in the sling she went off and started doing other things. Just like what Mummy used to do when carrying Esme in the sling!

Future baby-wearer in the making, perhaps? ;)

Slings and things

We took this picture on Saturday. It just makes me laugh every time I look at it! I've just got a new ring sling and was 'practicing' putting Esme in and out. Jacob looked at her in it and told me that he wanted to get in there! I don't remember the last time we wore Jacob in a sling, I think it was probably over 18 months ago that he was in one so I don't know what brought that comment on (maybe he just thought Esme looked so cozy ;)) Anyway, he was adamant that he wanted to get in so I went and grabbled the good old Ergo and told him he could get in there (no way was I going to wear his 16kgs in a hip carry position in a ring sling!!) He thought it was absolutely hilarious being in there as you can tell by the delighted look on his face!! And the beauty of the Ergo is that he didn't feel heavy at all lol.